Rachel: Those are just my dreams, this is my actual life.
This week on UnREAL, Chet and Quinn pitch an Everlasting spinoff to the network, and it’s Rachel’s job to get Adam to agree to it. As we’ve seen throughout the show, Adam is a nice guy, but he’s not willing to roll over for these people. When Rachel’s producing Adam, he asks what she gets out of this; Rachel says she gets to be showrunner, which is what she’s wanted “her entire career”. Adam asks about what she said the previous night about her grand plans. UnREAL isn’t just a show about how reality television gets made, it’s about the difference between fantasy and reality. Sure, Rachel would like to write novels and solve the AIDS crisis, but she’s good at her job, she likes it despite her conscience, and she’s willing to do this for her career.
There’s a lot of romance on the set of Everlasting this week, both ‘real’ and contrived. The most interesting of these is Adam’s newfound connection with Anna, who was annoyed to find out that the producers made a decision for Grace to win the show so they could get their spinoff. Anna catches Grace practicing her British accent, and everything that comes afterwards is great. Adam goes on four individual spa dates with the contestants, and does some sort of tantric workshop with Anna, which is when he finds out that Anna is also interested in Royal Love. He storms out on his date and yells at Rachel, which is when we get that great exchange between the two of them. So far everyone’s getting something out of this show except Adam, and it’s up to Rachel to get him to agree to it.
Running through Adam and Rachel’s arguments is the obvious growing attraction between the two of them. How many times has Adam tried to kiss Rachel so far? I never counted, but it’s at least five. The reason they work well together is partly because Shiri Appleby and Freddie Stroma, but it’s mainly because Rachel and Adam are alike. Rachel manipulates her cast members to make good television, and Adam manipulated her into shooting at his condemned building that he wants to turn into a winery. Jeremy breaks up with his fiancée after sleeping with Rachel last week. She tells him that Rachel only ever thinks about herself, which is true to an extent, but Jeremy makes a bunch of decisions without ever asking Rachel if it’s what she wants. Rachel and Adam are both stuck in situations where they’re doing what other people want from them, and nothing for themselves. Rachel wants Adam as much as he wants her; she knows that there are cameras in that room, and she doesn’t care.
Another couple who think alike are Chet and Quinn, and as I predicted last week, their romance isn’t going to be exactly smooth sailing just because Chet got divorced. Constance Zimmer is amazing in these scenes, and you can see how much it means to her when Chet says “I love you”. Quinn’s love is definitely misplaced, because Chet isn’t just the worst, he’s The Worst. He takes Rachel for a joyride and pushes her foot down on the accelerator, leading her to throw up when she gets out of the car. Chet only gives when he knows he can get something in return. He paid his ex-wife $50 million so he could be with Quinn, but now that he has what he wants, he realises he can also get blowjobs from a young PA, who will do whatever it takes to make it in television. He may love Quinn, but he gets off on his power, which is a dangerous thing.
What I really wanted to know this week is what Quinn was thinking when she discovered Chet in the closet with Braids (does she even have a name?). She goes to her safe, and switches out a USB stick for her giant engagement ring. She then goes to Chet and says they need to get married as soon as their divorce goes through. Does she think that marriage is going to stop him from wandering? Probably not, she was his mistress for eight years, it’s much more likely that there’s something on that flash drive that can be used for blackmail. If we’ve learned anything from “Mother”, it’s that Chet’s wife is happy he’s sleeping with Quinn because it keeps him from wandering too far. I’d much rather marry Jeremy than Chet, which is saying something, because Jeremy is not even a character, he’s just there.
- I don’t understand the point of the host of this show. Someone came up with the idea to have him film with an umbrella when it wasn’t raining and say that every cloud has a silver lining? That’s pretty messed up, even for Everlasting. At least Quinn shuts it down.
- Why is Jeremy even there? He’s barely a character.
- Host: “Ladies. As a veteran of this series, there’s a little saying that we have in showbiz. The show must go on. And in the case for your quest for everlasting love, the search must go on.”
Grace: “After 13 seasons, that’s all you got?”
Host: “Well, that and an Emmy”
- Speaking of Grace, Nathalie Kelley was on fire this week: “Honey, I know he’s gonna pick me. It’s all worked out.”
- The third season of The Bachelor Australia starts next week, and one of the contestants is already a mother. The bachelor didn’t even consider that that could be a possibility. Based on the promos, I want the girl who called him dude and loves superheroes to win.
- Out of all the characters, the one I’m most invested in is Faith, who made it to the Top 3. Royal Love/Royal Renovations would have been a good cover story so she could run away with Amy.
- Kate Aurthur published an interview with Shiri Appleby and Sarah Gertrude Shapiro over on BuzzFeed, you should read it now.